01/06/2019

The amount of encouraging messages I received after I cried on my IG stories the other day was overwhelming.

And overwhelming in the BEST sort of way. .

I was blown away by how much you all uplifted me-

with words, with thoughts, with stories and with prayers-

I cherished every message. Thank you so much!

The reason why I wrote this picture/caption is because my automatic response is wanting to apologize for crying to you all-

But then this “back of my mind” thought popped up.

I heard a version of it about 5-6 years ago, and I say it whenever someone cries WITH & to me. .

“Crying is a release, a healthy response & reaction to an emotion-

You would never apologize after laughing, so there’s no reason to apologize after crying.”

(95% of people who cry with me are- women or girls-

who simultaneously wipe their tears while uttering some form of this statement)

“I’m SO sorry I just did that”

Or...

“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I am crying like a baby”

Or…

“I’m so sorry you HAD to listen to that and see me LIKE this.” .

And my response has been (b/c for me-it’s always easier to comfort someone else- than to practice compassion on myself---) “Apologize if you hit me, or intentionally hurt me in some way- but don’t apologize for FEELING-for your tear ducts working-

for.

crying.”

On a similar note, it saddens me (no pun intended) to know that our society doesn’t “allow” males (ie. 50 percent of the population) to do this act of sweet release-

Instead, it’s tradition to drill into our boys that ‘crying equates to weakness’ (ie. is only reserved for girls) and should never be done in front of others.

It’s no wonder so many men deal with “anger” issues when it’s the only “acceptable” emotion for a man to express. (but, that is for another post, another time) .

Until then, my practice will be to NOT apologize for my feeling & expressing my sadness at any given moment in time- b/c I want to show my daughter how to recognize her feelings, express her feelings- and healthfully work through and appreciate each one.

Those are skills that innately teach self awareness and empathy- which I believe to be the foundation of self confidence.