01/23/2019
”when you numb your pain, you also numb your joy.” -Dr. Brene Brown
Before I go into my interpretation of this sign & this framed quote from @shopwesthouse- can we rewind to 1992 and talk about the “urban legends” that surrounded finding the star on the tootsie roll wrappers?
I was told that ‘if you collected them and brought them to the local pharmacy- you would be given more tootsie roll pops’
I PROMISE I don’t know if this is true, or I dreamt it?
ANYWAY-
Back to the quote-
it’s been four weeks and five days since THIS mom has been watching “Frozen” and I can’t help but over analyze the characters in it-
Specifically the scene where Elsa is in her castle and repeats “conceal don’t feel” & the ice storm continues to go haywire-
SOLIDIFIES this quote for me. (and yea, if you thought that I was going to give an example that DIDN’T relate to raising a toddler- you’re a fool)
So, Elsa is pushing the emotion AWAY.
and it keeps getting stronger-
keeps pushing back at her-
and by NOT acknowledging it-
There’s no WAY she can “sit” with it. .
This concept- has been HUGE for me in the past 2-3 years-
this work of- not only recognizing the feeling, but being able to SIT WITH IT- & not try and be angry that I have ‘said’ emotion.
BUT, you know what’s WILD?- is that after I read Brene Brown,
I started to recognize how much I STINK at “sitting” with a certain emotion.
JOY.
Yes, you read that correctly-
letting the emotion of JOY overcome me-
scares me.
EVERY time I start to feel it-
the WORST thought washes over me- [Picture it]- I’m sitting with meatball, reading to her, smelling her hair, and I feel bliss-
and then- in a split second, I think→
“This can’t last forever-
what if (insert worst case scenario here) and she’s taken away from me?
This has been my work over the past year, is not only embracing the SUCK, but simultaneously EMBRACING THE JOY- letting it wash over me and being extremely grateful for those moments-
Because as Dr. Brown puts it “Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it’s also the birthplace of joy, of creativity of belonging and of love.”
