I don’t mind getting older.
I do a lot of face to camera content. (Think talking head videos where the person is telling you a story or giving you tips)
and i see myself, my reflection- A LOT.
This isn’t something that I brag about a lot, but it is something that I’m secretly super proud of…
I have never used a filter.
Okay, I lied. once there was this filter that put a microphone in front of you, so it seemed like you were a stand up comedian.
I DID USE THAT ONE TWICE.
But other than that, I consciously have never used one. For so many reasons, but for one-it encompasses what “ragamuffin” means to me.
It’s me. It’s us- without a filter.
Embracing the mess and trying to find the in between of all or nothing.
I have owned this business since 2018 and have done most of my marketing on social media, so I see myself a lot and I have aged.
I have more wrinkles and more age spots and my teeth are a little more beige from all the coffee, but recently (within the last year or so) I have noticed something when I see my reflection the camera.
I see my older brother.
My brother is 7 years old than me, and although I haven’t talked to him in years, I see him everyday- in my reflection.
I see his forehead lines (that he used to make mazes out of) for me to play with.
I see his almond shaped eyes that resemble mine
and I see the dark brown eye color that is a mix of pine cone, acorn and old tree bark. (this is said with a new found love of all shades of brown)
Now, when I see him in my reflection, I start to get emotional.
For reasons that I won’t get into right now, my brother and I are for the most part estranged- but that doesn’t mean I don’t still love him and wish the utmost best for him with my whole body.
Our relationship is complicated and yet, when I see my aging reflection, I have nothing but gratitude for getting older and for him.
There is a lot of noise out there that tells you that your aging body is something that needs to be fixed, toned and tightened-
but I want to be a hum (me…trying to figure out if a hum is calming or part of the noise-HA)
I want to be a low tone noise that whispers-
”it’s okay to look older.”
and it’s also okay if you sometimes wish you could tighten things up-
but deep down you know that in doing so-you’d be erasing a part of you, altering a part of you that you love.
And on this journey of learning to love yourself,
isn’t that the point?
