Moving Reminders.

When you think of the words ‘coming back’ what comes to mind?

In Mid-July movers came to our house and packed up all of our things, and I told myself “I should make a post on Instagram telling folks I’m going to be taking a break from social Media for a while” because I knew that I wasn’t going to be in a good head space while we were moving cross country to continually post online.

But, I didn’t make a post for a couple reasons.
In my mind I told myself “no one is going to care/notice if you’re gone so why even do it”
and then there there was another voice that said “But Jamie, you owe it to the people”
(to which another voice shouted) “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, SOME SORT OF HEAD OF STATE?” (I have a lot of voices in my head)

Well, it’s about 2 months later, (mid-sept) and here I am- sitting here in my desk chair “ready? (i think) to come back to social media. And, I also want to acknowledge that I didn’t have the capacity during the move so I’m extremely glad I gave myself the time to ‘take a break’ I have calculated it out and in my life, I have moved homes/locations 25 times. Surprisigly, alot of it was prior to becoming an army spouse, but this last move reminded me of some things:

1.) Some things never get easier.

Sure, I’ve moved over two dozen times in my life and there are things I’ve learned a long the way, but leaving a community- saying goodbye’s to people you love (even if we all say “it’s not goodbye it’s see you later” as if this softens the blow?) never gets easier. I relate this to fitness b/c so many things (as we continue to do them) do in fact GET easier. Form for lifting weights, putting on your shoes and heading to the gym etc. BUT I also want to acknowledge that some things may never get easier. So, with this information, what are we going to do next? does it help you knowing that some things continually are going to suck? I’m not sure this is the encouraging speech you want to hear (or that I EVER want to face) but for me, it does help serve as a reminder that not EVERYTHING gets easier over time. Aspects of it yes, but not everything.

2.) Give yourself grace. and more than you think you need.

When I first started making moves with the military, I would give myself a timeline of 1 month to ‘get back into a routine’ Now that I’m more seasoned, I give myself 6 months. 3 on the front end (starting to pack up the house, saying my good byes, buying teachers gifts etc) and 3 on the back end (moving into the new house, unpacking ALL the boxes, finding new dentist/doctors/friends) and that has helped me so much. We have been in our new home for a little over 5 weeks, and reminding myself (when I get frustrated why things aren’t clicking yet) that I still have about 2 more months to ‘get into a routine’ helps me exhale. This easily related to ‘coming back’ from a season to exercise, bc oftentimes we think we’ll get right back to it after a week, when in reality- the routine might take months.

3.)Acknowledge the sadness.

Moving with a kiddo is a whole different ballgame than moving only yourself. With meatball (she just recently turned 8) I don’t try and sugarcoat things. When I see her face looking distantly out the car window and I ask ‘what’ up?” and she responds: “I miss my old friends” I don’t respond “yeah, but think about all the new friends you will make, or have made.”
I respond by saying “I know. I hear that- I miss my old friends too” This goes along with a reach back to touch her hand or knee to let her know “I know how you feel” I am an optimisit but I don’t think that means I refuse to acknolwedge sadness. It means I have hope. It means that I can come up with reminders when my heart aches to it core that the sun will shine again- but it doesn’t mean I will tell you what is an what isn’t sad. I will not force you to ‘be happy’ nor will I change your mind that you should be all the time. There are a lot of ‘neat’ changes with moving and ‘not so neat’ ones. And I want to be here for them all (with her and with myself) I see this retoric often when it comes to exercise. BE THANKFUL YOU HAVE the ability to GO to the gym OR “it’s not I HAVE TO, it’s I GET TO” While these can be helpful reminders sometimes, if said in the wrong moment, they can make you want to punch a pillow 17 times, or scream in your car after hearing them.
YES, we GET TO work out and move- AND…AND it’s okay to be sad/mopey sometimes.

So, as I make my way ‘back’ to social media- I am reminded that taking a break from things is okay. Just like with exercise. Sometimes we have seasons that last days and sometimes they last week and months. Our hope always is that we create an environment that we don’t dread ‘coming back’ to.