05/12/2019

This photo was framed & sat on top of our box TV from the year of 1987 to the year we left for Oregon- so maybe 92 (ish)?
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It was taken before I was even a thought-
That’s my older brother sitting in my mother’s lap.
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I love the soft light of it, the way they look at each other.
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And now that I’m a mother, I wish I could be one of those flowers in the vase, and slowly detach myself from the stem-
and whisper into my mothers ear...
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“I know you want us to not know pain.
I know you want us to only experience happiness.
I know that you would give your right arm for us to not know depression, fear and rejection- to always have that look of naivety that is so quintessential of childhood.
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But dear mom,
Know this-
There is nothing you can do to shield us from this-
We WILL be hurt, we WILL be rejected, embarrassed and heartbroken.
We WILL feel loss and be forced to grieve.
But also know this-It’s the pain that is going to make us human.
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It’s the grief that will allow us to look at another soul and see ourselves in them-
It is the exchange we make for living in this world.
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So please mother, I wish you to worry less about shielding us, and know that the pain is what allows us to ALSO feel the joy that this earthy world has to offer.”
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And then like all talking flowers do, I would use my pedal legs to re attach myself to the stem and never speak again. 😂